Should We Move Near An Adult Child — Or Another Caring, Younger Relative?

Time to leave the old place?

Time to leave the old place?

Should we move near one of the children? That’s a question seniors often ask themselves. Those who don’t have children may be thinking about moving closer to some other caring adult – a niece or nephew, perhaps, or a younger sibling.

For younger seniors, it may be the pull of a new grandchild that makes them think of relocating. More senior seniors are starting to wonder if it might be a good idea to have a younger relative nearby should their health start to fail – someone to be sure the bills are paid and appointments kept, or, down the road, to help with a transition to assisted living or a nursing home.

Some of us are perfectly happy where we are, but we’re being nagged by children to move close-by, so they can keep an eye on us. It’s annoying, but they only want to help. Anyway, they have jobs and families – lives of their own – and they can’t be flying in or driving for hours whenever we have a problem.

It’s a tough decision. We have friends, interests, places of worship, and health care providers where we’ve been living for years – lifetimes in some cases. Why would we go somewhere else and have to establish all those ties again? Maybe we’ll fail to reconnect in a new place and fall into depression. Maybe we’ll depend too much on our younger relative for human contact and come to be regarded as a burden.

On the other hand, perhaps a change of scene is just what we need. Making a move will force us to deal with all the clutter that’s built up over the years. If our younger relative lives in a more urban location, it’s just possible that the medical system, transportation, shopping, and overall support for aging in place will be better and more convenient than where we’re currently living. We can always find new friends and places of worship if we give ourselves a little kick you know where and get out and about.

Common Sense for Seniors staff will be looking at these issues over the next couple of weeks. We’re probably years from making a decision to move or not, but we’ll be with the kids and their families over Thanksgiving. It will be a good time to have a conversation about the future and to look around at some of the living options closer to where they live.

We’ll keep you posted!

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