This comment came in from a whippersnapper we know in response to our post on Five Flights Up. It might be painful for some seniors to read, but the fact is, we need to be aware of the problems we can create for others.
“Ray, you forgot only one thing — how unfair it is for parents to remain in an unsustainable living arrangement that forces them into dependence on their kids for everything from shopping to cleaning house.
My mother had a million reasons for not moving into a retirement community when she was 75 or 80 — she was fine on her own, she couldn’t take her dog, etc., etc. She also had a million reasons for not buying a house on my sister’s block — she liked her home, she didn’t want to live on a hill, etc., etc.
The upshot: Mom at 89 is living in a huge two-story house, is unable to drive, relies on my sister for everything, and is completely unable to appreciate how dependent she has become. She wouldn’t dream of moving out unless the cops physically carried her out. It was quite selfish of her not to plan ahead.”